A DEAR JOHN POEM 1

The tides are high tonight
as i tried to write
but i can't help this heart of mine
i long to hear your voice
to somehow ease my pain
but you are there
and i am here
our distances seems to make it clear
i love you with all my heart
i have from almost the first time we met
it doesn't make sense that i love you
because we belong to two different worlds
i fell in love with you when we were together
fell deeper in love with you in the years we were apart
now you’re just minutes away from my reach
i tried staying away
praying, not praying
my head says no
heart says yes
Finally...
I understood what true love meant...
letting you be happy even if am not the cause or a part of your happiness
so looking at it that way
i guess am not in love with you.

Cont. of I hate love stories...

She wanted more. So every time he asks her to accompany him, she always said yes. Every time he says “you are my best friend Ivy and you are my wife” jokingly, she always say “you are my husband” not so jokingly… letting herself hope that maybe that would be the moment they will share that will turn everything around. I’d love to believe a part of her knew it was hopeless, loving him like that and hoping against hope that one day he would come to see her through the eyes she sees him, as she see him…

Four years and counting and now I’m sure nothing would ever happen between Ivy and Anthony. Maybe these two are destined to be best friends forever. And just maybe he loves her but he is afraid to cross the tiny little line between friendship and love. Maybe he doesn’t even see her like she sees him, and just maybe he belong with her… who knows huh and with all these complications, who wouldn’t hate love stories?

Sitting here, writing the story of Ivy, I couldn’t help but see myself in Ivy. Am not so different from her, after all am a girl just like her, with almost an identical story. Oh well, the one difference is, I’ve been in love with my best friend for two years and now I know nothing would ever happen between us. We are friends and that’s all we are ever going to be… and how did I know it will never happen?

I knew this when I let him take me to a musical concert by one of Nigeria’s most famous artist Darey Art Alade titled ‘Love like a movie’. It’s not the usual weekend hangouts that we do and I took that as a sign that the moment I’ve been waiting for has finally come. He will finally realize his feelings for me, and all those late night chats on whats app would all be worth it. And I figured every hurdle we went through together for the past two years must have meant more to him than just good old friendship that we share; surely he too must have felt the spark between us. Never have I ever been more wrong…

An hour after the concert started, I was in a room full of strangers, standing all alone. He left my side, said he saw some familiar faces and off he went. I have never felt so alone in my life whilst in the middle of a crowd as large as the people that turned out for the concert. Sitting there, feeling sorry for myself and feeling completely out of place, then it finally hit me. For good two years I have been waiting for something more to happen, I was a fool in love; a fool to believe just because my heart is crying out his name for so long, he will finally take notice. Sitting there feeling helpless, I couldn’t even get myself to move from where I was sitting to look for him in this sea of strangers. If only Ivy’s HOD could see me, not very smart I thought.

I was suddenly jolted back to life and blinded by the lighting on stage, pulling me back from my dark thoughts and into the present. The entertainers on stage were Psquare and they were hyping up their performance with acrobatics and dance and the ladies around were screaming and jumping all at the same time, I could have sworn I saw some shedding tears… do I even belong here? I asked myself. I have never really liked crowd and here I am in a sea of strangers. Since when did I forget who I am and willing to give it all up just for him? Another question with no answer, crazy things people do for love…

  I

HATE LOVE STORIES…

It’s either someone dies or someone leaves. Basically, love is pain…

SPOILER ALERT…

This could have been like others, but it’s a love story whose ending you never saw coming…

AUTHOUR’S NOTE

Love stories… don’t we just love to read them? The way the prince charming walks in just in time to save his emotional unstable maiden is always a delight to watch. Except for one thing: it’s not real. I hate to be the bearer of bad news buddy but you see, soap operas, movies, love stories are all make-believe. You see, for as long as I can remember, I have held on to the idea of love as portrayed in movies. Imagine my surprise when my prince charming refuses to make a grand romantic entrance. That day, I realized life is not a fairy tale, happy ever after aren’t real and there are no fairy god mothers. In real life, there are no happy ever afters; love is real but usually it demands more than you can give. In real life, its either someone dies or someone leaves. Basically, love is pain. Enjoy I HATE LOVE STORIES…

courtsy of: Rendel Lai Photography

Ivy’s story is a classic boy meets girl, girl meet boy, chatted, it was epic, turned instant best friends like one of those best friends’ movies, and we all know what will come next after that.

Falling in love.

Hard.

Fast.

A one-sided love story, as people always call it. Ivy was ruled over by her emotions, she reasoned with her heart rather than her head. Often times, she could hear her HOD’s voice “you are smarter than this Ivy, smarter than those silly little girls that reason and take decisions based on how they feel”. Well, at least he thought she was smart but Ivy was just a girl with all her flaws and with all her goodness.

So Ivy fell hard, fast, head over hills in love with her best friend without knowing when or how it happened. All she could think about was how the light shines from his eyes, like everything he sees is beauty. I remember her telling me once that he is a goldmine and everything he touches turns gold, how his voice never fails to hypnotize her, demanding her full and undivided attention. How his touch though friendly always make her feel safe like there’s this peace energy that just connects to her whenever he holds her hand.

And there was her heart… singing out his name, pinning and hoping for even the slightest sign that he would see her as more than just a friend he hang out with… more than just the best friend he confides in… much more than anything else, she wanted to be more, to mean more to him. She was the girl of his dreams masquerading as his best friend; hoping that one day, just one day he will come to realize how much she means to him, he will come to see how the light shines from her eyes, like everything she sees is beauty…TO BE CONTINUED