Dear sweet Kristine,
You’re not even born yet but I have mapped out every bit of my wandering heart and I have chosen you a name already. Mom’s words are her bond. A very long time ago, I made a promise to a dear friend named Christopher. I promised I was going to name my little girl or boy after him but here I am, yearning for a Christine with a K.
I’m not sure how my letter series will meet you: as a little kid with a lot of beauty and wonder in her eyes, or a teenager full of questions and mischief, or as a young lady with the world at her feet. One thing I do know is: I will love you until forever ends.
As a kid with a lot of beauty and wonder and innocence in your eyes, I will rock, kiss and cuddle you to sleep. Tell you my favorite bed time story (how I met dad), sing you lullaby’s (I promise, my voice is positively awful). The song is going to be so out of tune, but it’s going to be our song.
I will keep you safe and hold out the tissue as you learn to blow out your little nose. I will drop you off at school every single day and fight back the tears as I cry my way to work. I will frame up your first painting/drawing, hang it on the wall in the sitting room, in the study and in my office and I will call it ART.
As a teenager full of questions and mischief, I will be patient with you as my mom was with me and when you try to play a new trick so I would give in to your whims; I will lean in close and say: ‘Sweetie, I invented that trick and every other trick you can think of so no, it ain’t working’.
And when you are stuck and not sure what career path to choose between a Pilot and a Writer (Oh you’re going to be creative alright, it’s in our DNA), I’m going to lean in close and say: ‘Who says you can’t be both’? But I wouldn’t want you to be any of those things if that is not what you want. You can be anything dear sweet little girl but for the love of mom, don’t be an actress (I could never tell when they are acting and when their mask is off. Some of those people spend their entire life living a lie). So be anything dear child but an actress.
And I’m going to be best friends with your friends and stick my nose in your conversations from time to time (I’m so nosy) and if you feel embarrassed by me and think I’m not so cool, oh well; you are just going to have to be patient with me. You see, I have never had a teenage daughter before.
And when you are 18 and at the university and I keep showing up with lunch and all your friends think I’m psycho and weird, again you are going to have to be patient with me; I have never had a grown up daughter who left home.
And as a young lady with the world at your feet, we are going to talk about all the men making passes at you and we will laugh at their dry jokes. You are going to be left brained like you momma and do you know what that means? It means you get to be smart, intelligent, objective, logical and analytical but unlike mom; you are going to be a lot more fun to be with.
You should know that as a young lady, things will not always go your way, you are going to miss your childhood days when it was all just pure fun and not everyone is going to like you (that’s something momma knows all too well) but I wouldn’t want you to worry your pretty little head because I got you.
And when you are faced with the dilemma of choosing a life partner and you are acting all grown up, you are and always will be my little girl. And when you walk up to me and say: mom I know what you think as my mother but I would like to know what you think of him as my friend… and I will hug you real tight as I fight back the tears and say: ‘Sweetie, choosing a life partner is a decision you alone will have to make. As much as I would love to commandeer you, I think you are old enough to make your own choices’.
Dear Kristine, days like this make me weary. I have so much love inside of me that I cannot wait to meet you. I want to tell you crazy stories about my childhood and sew matching outfits with you. Because you are going to be my princess and daddy’s little angel, I’m going to work so incredibly hard to ensure that your life begins and end in a castle. That I promise.
With love beyond words…
© Joy Anzzy Isa
I hate letter writing; I’ve never been a fan. So please, forgive these hapless little lines; they are not to blame.
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